Re-Thinking Things.

Recently I have been reading a book called "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne. While I haven't agreed with everything he writes, the basic message he is proclaiming rings so true with what I have been uncomfortable and confused about lately. He deals with poverty- how we see it, treat it, and attempt to deal with it. He also brings out the convicting truth of how so many Christians have only been taught how to believe, but not shown how to live as a Christian. He talks a lot about the church- how we have become so centralized on getting people into the church building and forgetting that Jesus' very commission for the church is to "Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to all nations." We have become so concerned with being relevant and learning new church growth strategies that we compromise the cost of laying our whole life down for the sake of  the Gospel and forget we are called to live a radical life of love- a life that can't help but stand out. There's so much I could say about what God has shown me through this book!
       So back to what he says about poverty. We're so quick to say that being rich isn't a sin, God has abundance for all of us, etc. While it's true God loves to bless us, how can we look at the rich man with a hundred times more than he could ever need; then turn to the starving child on the street and say "being rich isn't a sin!" I'm still not sure how I stand with this- I don't think having nice things is necessarily evil. But I'm getting more and more uncomfortable with the fact that 30,000 children starve to death every day and I am part of the richest 2% of the population. I am getting more disgusted with the fact that I have no problem buying a new outfit for the same price that I could feed hundreds of people. I'm not so sure if being rich isn't a sin after all. We're so sheltered, safe, and comfortable. Fat and happy. I want to be fully awakened to the suffering of the world. We're rotting on our own complacency- myself included. God hasn't called us to the American dream. God has called us to get and down and dirty with the lowest of the low and show them that there is another life available. Not just available- but paid for with the ultimate suffering and at the highest price. Look at the way Jesus lived! He had no place to lay his head. His disciples went out with nothing to preach the Gospel to the entire world. He ministered to lepers, prostitutes, and the demon-posessed. Maybe we just don't know what the Gospel is anymore.
          I am questioning a lot lately. I question whether I am really living the life I am supposed to. Of course I will never be perfect- but are all my plans and goals even worth pursuing? Is this what God really wants for me? How numbed am I to God's mission by the sin culture all around me? Is the church really even being anything more than a propogator of cheap grace and false inclusivity- a club? I know that there is still a remnant- there is so much good going on. There is always, always hope. I love my church. I know that God has a plan amidst the chaos and confusion. One of the most convicting things in the book for me was this: "The greatest cause of atheism is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, then walk out the door and deny Him with their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." God help me to stand for You, live for You, and spend my whole life in pursuit of Your mission. Help me not to waste my life.