Uncomfortable.

       Over the past month and at other times over the last couple of years I have found myself in a place of feeling like I'm not in the right place, not doing enough, not changing things like I want to, and being completely dissatisfied and uncomfortable with the state of my life, the church, and the world. (That was probably a run-on sentence. Who cares.) I read books, sing songs, and think things that stir up a fire in me so deep that I can't deny it. I want the world to know God! I want them to be woken up out of their sin and awakened to who God is and what could be. I want to change things- in my life, in the "church", in the world. I am re-reading the book my first blog post was about-Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne- and being convicted every day because I have so much when millions are dying from preventable causes. I can't shake the feeling that there's so much more I could be doing! I feel like what I'm doing right now isn't enough and it's driving me crazy.

     I know God doesn't expect to me to save the world singlehandedly. He's the one who does the saving anyway- I am just the vessel. I'm in a place of satisfaction in who God is and dissatisfaction with how I'm living it out. But what I am slowly but surely realizing is that God knows what He is doing with my life. As a matter of fact- He knew exactly what He was going to do with me, in me, and through me before the creation of the world. As long as I am earnestly seeking Him and following Him, He will lead me to where He wants me to be. I'm growing and learning right where I am. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be looking to move forward into what God has- but it does mean I need to live to the fullest and do the most where He has placed me for the time being. This Scripture has both assured and challenged me:

"For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable."  - Romans 11:29

He is giving me this passion for a purpose. All I have to do is trust Him. How simple. Thank You Jesus.