I've been reading through Song of Songs (Song of Solomon) for two weeks now. I've only gotten through the first chapter. I thought it would be difficult to read something that slowly, that in depth- but it wasn't. It isn't. God's love for people could occupy my thoughts for the rest of eternity and I still wouldn't even begin to grasp it.
I have been struggling all day trying to decide what to share at generator tonight (middle school girls small group). What God has been laying on my heart didn't seem to apply to what we have been talking about for the past month, the power of the Gospel- specifically the power of the tongue. I haven't been able to get away from the fact that God really might have meant what He said when he told the rich man to sell all he had and give it to the poor. I have always been taught that passage means God wanted him to let go of the power his wealth had over him, that "what you have isn't bad unless what you have has you." But when I found out that the amount Americans spend on ice cream in a year could have feed all the hungry mouths of the world I question that interpretation. What about the fact that I own 15 pairs of shoes when so many have none? How about the fact that I could go out and buy a wallet for $200 just because of the brand that's stamped on it when some people have a empty wallet and don't know how that will feed their children the next day? How about those people who sleep on the cold ground at night while I sleep in my heated house, with my own room, in my own bed- and yet I still complain about it being too cold or too hot in the house. What about those people all over the world who are being brutally martyred (murdered!) for their simple faith in Jesus Christ and their passionate desire to share Him with others? Persecution in America equals someone calling you a goody-goody.
What if love is a verb? What if it isn't something we just talk about, dream about, pray for, and read about- but something we live? Has America become like the Roman church of old, where anyone who came to church was a Christian and a good citizen just for showing up? I'm no history expert but it's to see that nothing new is happening. We're cheapening the Gospel by making it a list of do's and don't rather than a expression of God's love and justice which in turn we express to others. Or, we make it so lenient that we can just do whatever we want because "the Gospel isn't a list of do's and don'ts!" If someone really is saved, they cannot stay the same. They can't say the way of the world is ok. That doesn't mean it won't tempt them, that they won't sin, or will be perfect- but it does mean that the revelation of God's love that they have received will revolutionize their lives and call them higher and deeper.
I'm sick of having this fire and righteous anger inside of me and not doing anything about it. God has completely messed me up- almost as if I have just now discovered what it means to be saved. All the plans and ideas for my life have been turned upside down and now I am thoroughly confused. I have always wanted to do something with my life that meant something, that changed the world; now I understand what that means. When people ask me what I want to do after high school and what I want to study in college, I am at a loss for a answer they would understand (except for a couple of people). To quote Shane Claiborne, because it's exactly the way I think on the subject: "I'm not too concerned with what I am going to do. I am more interested in who I am becoming. I want to be a lover of God and people. I am convinced that what we do is not nearly as important as who we are."
I just realized this started with what I am going to share in generator tonight! Ha. I'm going to share about God's love for people. I don't know how it's going to go at all....how can I talk about something so enormous concisely and simply? God help me to do what I understand so little some justice.
